Speeding Cars

Have you ever looked out the window in a moving vehicle and tried to track the things that pass by with your eyes? The ones far away take longer to pass by, while the ones that are closer seem to fade away instantly. Well that's how life is. Each event is a series of images passing us by like the cars on the highway. We track these moments and distinctly remember them for that split second, but only to see a brand new one. And then theres the times when the vehicle stops and all the images stop fleeting by. These are the moments we stand in awe completely mesmerized from head to toe. And that is when you know that this is not just a speeding car. It's something that you will take every aspect to heart and live on with forever.

The only way to appreciate your place is to go to the bottom.

I find myself disappointed when things don't work out the way I would have liked. But it's not really about how it worked out. I think it's more about how I had the chance and decided to take it. They always say it's better to have loved than never loved at all , right? Well the same concept applies. Doing something is better than doing nothing at all. And if it doesn't work out, well that's why everything happens for a reason. No matter how it ends up, there is a reason it was like that. We only have two way to go for every choice we make. Either we 1) Succeed. or 2) Learn from the past. So I guess nothing can really be good or bad, it just depends how you see it.

Things always seem to change just when the fun begins.


But then again, some things will always stay the same:)

Three Things

That should never be lost:

Honesty;Hope;Peace

That never come back:

Time;Opportunity;words

That are never sure:

Fortune; Success; Dreams

Fighting Quicksand

As I'm currently applying for colleges, I'm starting to realize things. We would all love to have this process be as easy as singing a song on stage one time and becoming a singer. Or perhaps painting a picture and becoming a famous artist? Well that's definitely not the case. I have friends and family to support and help me along the way, but it is essentially me that's going to have to take initiative and work for it. Me who's going to make the change. We all need to stand on our own two feet and overcome our problems. The people we rely on are here right now, but the sad truth of the matter is that they won't always be around here forever. These people will give you something to learn but learning to be independent will help the most in the long run. I've seen way too many times where people end up helpless in a time of need because they have used others as a crutch through life. This makes me feel bad for them because each person has the potential to be independent, but it just depends whether we grow to it or not.

Only For Now

It always seems to be easier to seek what we want, rather than to seek the truth. What we want is a neverending list stretching for miles with all sorts of possibilities. The truth is what lies beneath the illusional facades. As we reach out to grasp what we desire, we ignorantly leave behind the truth. Recognition and money seem to mean everything in this world while we forget about what has always been with us all along. Where have all the simple things gone? The comfort of our friends, company of our family, etc. The way I look at it, getting what we want is not always a good thing. I don't want to forget about what I've always had just to attain the things that seem glorious at the moment. Of course it isn't always bad, but there just has to be a balance between them I guess. By going for my goals, I want to make sure I don't lose myself in the process. For once that happens, I can choose to be who I've turned into or who I really am. So I guess what I'm saying is to keep an eye out for our desires, they could turn into quite a tragedy if taken one step too far.

Total Overflow

Anger. Delicate, yet dangerous. Bubbles up to a maximum in a number of seconds and overflows the rim to cause havoc in a number of minutes. It's an uncapped bottle full of dissapointment, hurt, and frustration. It may not be all bad though. Think about it. It's just another emotion given to man to help him grow and build a foundation. Yes, it may cause trouble, but one must know pain to advance, right? To me, I think it's what the person does with the anger that is the problem. It's the action that determines whether the feelings are negative or positive. The anger we possess seems to be a sign telling us something needs to be changed. It's so easy for us to resort to yelling and losing our patience as soon as the bottle's uncapped. It's too easy to forget how it may hurt others or the consequences that follow. While this is probably a hard thing to do, think what would happen if we all stopped and took 10 minutes to play out in our minds what we are going to say, as well as the followed reactions, before we say it. We can all deal with anger, we just have to find the strength to put it aside and the courage to be the bigger person and promise yourself to resolve it. Let it dissolve, and move on, for if you don't put it aside then it will only linger in the back of your head for who knows how long before actions are taken. Plus is it really worth it all the time? Is there another way to act or say something before this feeling turns into resentment and regret? Through my eyes, it would be nice if we could up our willingness to listen and down our temptations to become angry.

Stronger Than Ever Before

It's not the people in this world who are famous and earning millions who amaze me. In fact, it's just ordinary people like you and me. It's the ones who have gone through so much in their lifetime, yet still have the willpower to keep going strong as ever. Where I have faced nothing and feel the need to give up at times. These people are so determined and strong. I wish I had that. I really do. Despite everything they have suffered, they look at life in the simplest way and be open to all sorts of things. While I hesitate and worry when I have not come close to anything in comparison. This really shows me determination. These people are so unique. They refresh my faith and prove to me that life goes on. We fall a countless number of times but only to pick ourselves up and learn from the mistake. Looking at these people I can't help but to wonder why things play out the way they do. Everything happens for a reason, right? No one said all our days would be rays of sunshine. There will always be laughter with sorrow. Times of pain and times of joy. But I look at it this way, we are dealt with all kinds of different situations. Many times we find ourselves standing at a fork in the road with trembling hands unsure what to do. No matter what it is though, anytime I am given a certain situation, I remember I was dealt with it for one single reason. I am meant to get through it.

It Doesn't Matter

You know those rags to riches stories we all hear about? Well it doesn't matter whether you live out of a shopping cart or live in a mansion owning 25 cars. It doesn't matter if you're a striving genius or failing school. If you can find the inspiration and believe you have the talents, then everything else is just an accessory. The places you may end up are countless. It's the person who creates the horizon.

Express, don't assume.

There's so much going on in our lives that we often forget the little things in life. Birthdays, anniversaries, the first snow, the sun's warmth on a cold morning, the tiny gestures that send chills down our spine. As humans it seems we're programmed to automatically grow close to a select few and share all our dissatisfactions with those people, rather than showing our reasons for contentness. With our lives constantly keeping us on the move, we often forget how good it makes us feel to receive a compliment or to hear someone is proud of you. At times, we need this appreciation to push us forward and excel, while sometimes it just keeps us happy inside. As relationships prosper and we tend to grow closer, we forget to celebrate the people we love who have kept us happy for this long and got us to this point in our life. We easily take them for granted and assume they know how much we appreciate them, but do they really? Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. But I do know that it feels great when your told you are. So don't assume, they may have no idea. Make an effort, go out of your way, you never know how much of an impact you may make on a person. It's a great feeling we all know and love. So remember. Express, don't assume.

Surrender To The Music

No room to talk. Dance like noone's watching.
Amazing weekend coming up. let's go Nartan!

Fogana 2 0 0 9
Bend and Clap<3

A game we call Charades

People are always so complicated. Why can't it just be as simple as being required to wear a stamp on our forehead revealing who we really are? We put on a mask and play this game of "charades" just to be liked and accepted by our surroundings. While doing this, we get so into the game we tend to lose ourself. After a certain point, it seems nearly impossible to ever find ourselves and return back to the old us, the real being. We do this because we fear the opinions of others and the judgement they may form. It makes no sense though if you think about it. Is it really all worth it? If we play this game long enough and you end up winning, I guarantee you will never quit. No one will ever know your secret, as long as you can bear it within. Just not my thing I guess. It is unnecessary and unnacceptable for anyone to tell me who I am just to make me play. I won't give in to such a silly plan in order to lose myself and make you happy. We just aren't that simple.

Welcome To Life

You know how we always hear people saying " I wish I was younger" ? Well of course we do. Life's just easier that way right? Myself included, I also want to be younger, but probably not for the same reasons you thought. I used to be able to stand up for what I believed in without giving a second thought. I could take whatever actions I wanted and never look back. What was I losing? Nothing at all. When a child makes a wrong move, everything's okay. It's not a big deal and no one even thinks of criticizing him/her. The younger we are, we simply say things as we mean it from the moment the thought popped into our heads to the second they leave our lips. So how come as we get older it takes a lot more than a second for these words to be spoken? Everything only seems to get harder as we get older. School, work, impressions, parents, everything. Constantly changing whether we decide to go with it or not. Welcome to life.

So True

I just love this . It seems to encompass the truth on our common philosophy of living that we forget how unique it really is.

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

- Oscar Wilde

Summerrrr!

First and foremost, Happy Father's Day Dad! :)

NOW, ah sorry I haven't wrote in a while! School's FINALLY out and summer's in. No more worrying about projects, quizzes, finals, or papers. Now it's time to hit the beach, go for a swim, sit outside and watch your ice cream melt in the hot sun, and just relaxxxx. What is the start of summer? It's not just a day us students look forward to pretty much all year. This is a big deal. It's when school's out for about 3 months and we're free. Free from the drama and free from the stress that comes along with schoolwork. For me, this grand event started at precisely 8:48 Friday morning last week. Most people describe their summer as one of their favorite vacation spots. But for me it's more of all the simple pleasures. Aka riding with the windows all the way down, eating popsicles on the deck, walking around barefoot all day, going to the pool, buying an insane amount of flip flops, and those nights we stay up all night with our friends doing absolutely nothing. Who can complain, right? Well, I'm gonna have to cut this one short cause the flip flops are waiting, but can't wait to find out what these next 3 months have in store!

Time for math

Minus the drama. Divide the hope. Add the realities. Multiply the love. What does this equal? A human. We all have one innate desire from birth. That desire is to be close to somebody and be accepted. As we grow, we put up our guard to protect us from getting hurt while we choose those select few who we trust with our lives. We act like we don't care about certain people and decide to keep our distance, but is that really true? Not at all. Putting on that kind of show just for the benefit of the doubt is just messed up. Those select few who we have stood by are the ones we can easily forgive an infinite number of times no matter how badly they have messed up. These people will never fail to surprise us with their actions, yet we can overlook it after some time.

I don't know if it's just being naive, or the fear of losing people if confronted of their hurtful actions. But I'm learning that those who are there for always, loving you no matter what, are the ones that deserve to be here. The ones who show they love you 24/7 in good times and bad, and especially when you don't even need it. Such strong bonds are created with sufficient time and trust. Sometimes we fight with these people, but it does not change how we feel about them. Yes, fighting makes our hearts grow distant from one another but this strong feeling of closeness is also what brings them back together.

While we constantly feel like we need space, sometimes all we need is the exact opposite.

Restart

You know what really amazes me? How every morning we open our eyes to a day we know nothing of. We have absolutely no idea what's in store for us, yet we take it for granted. Every night we go to sleep knowing that tomorrow we will wake up and it will be a new day. Each day is so different from the next, a complete restart. I can't get over it, it blows my mind how many chances we are given in one lifetime. Yeah we mess up but so what? Tomorrow is a new day, a day to put it all in the past and the time to move on. As they say, life's too short to be sad. Carpe Diem. Live Your Life. Live everyday like it's your last. Well, they've definitely got a point. So make the most of each minute you have and embrace it with your all. It's human nature to be drawn to the unknown of tomorrow, kind of like solving a mystery I guess. This concept of being able to start over 365 times every year will never stop engrossing me, so bottom line: Be ready for a new beginning in 24 hours. You're only given this day once.

2 ways

How I see it, there's always two roads open for you at any point. You accept it or reject it. You make the best of it or the worst of it. It's never too late to change to be who you want to be. No one will stop you. After each occurence though, I hope you make the best of it. This world holds so much just waiting for us to find it. It's strange how something so little can change so much. I hope you meet people with different perspective's other than your own. And that you experience things that push you to feel things you have never ever felt before. When these moments come, I hope they even bring by a scare every now and then. You know, just a momentary glimpse for you to come back to reality. But most importantly, don't be afraid to fall. Be proud of the life you have been given, for this chance only comes around once. If you mess up, I hope you have the courage and strength to start over and face your past. It's only human, it's okay. And as quoted, " Life is defined by opportunities... even the ones you miss" Take it to the heart, these opportunities are the very thing that keeps us alive.

No Boundaries

Dreams. Definition: Something almost or impossible in one's mind during sleep. When you dream, the boundaries of reality melt away into a neverending sea of possibilities. The rules you are forced to follow simply fail to exist here. Anything can happen here. Goals and ambitions pursued, secrets revealed, fears confronted, and wishes granted. Each person's dreams are unique and different. What I've dreamt, only I know. Only I know exactly how the figments of my imagination played out in my mind that night. Kind of like my own movie. It's quite amazing. You know those dreams where you're getting chased by a bad guy and running for your life? I hate those. I can never figure out what those mean. Is it anticipating something? I just wish they could end. Then theres the ones where I'm at my high and I could stay in this place forever. One of those I-wish-this-could-last-forever dreams. You know what I'm talking about.Everything's so perfect until the disturbing alarm rings and bursts my sparkling bubble. Haha, how annoying right? You know how they say dreams usually are a symbol of something that is to come? Well sure it might be some of the time, but at least most of mine are just things I have thought about, felt, seen, or talked about recently in the past few days. You don't really notice it of course but it's funny how that works. The easy part is dreaming; the hard part is pursuing. Isn't that how most of the greatest creators in the world have gained their fame? They work hard to pursue their lifelong dream. I'm not too sure what my dreams really mean yet, but at times I wish I didn't have to wake up right away. You know, staying in this 'dreamland' isn't so bad. I wish I could explore around, experience new things, meet some people, and discover what lies beneath each of these crazy dreams. It is the one single place where there are zero limits. This is what lets us dream of our goals. So what's the magic of dreaming you ask? We have the ability to create such thoughts to envelope that tiny ounce of hope pushing us to chase our fears away and reach our ambitions.

Why?

You meet someone for the first time and you automatically start to make certain assumptions about them. Maybe it's their hair, or the way they talk, or even the way they dress. For the most part, you probably don't even know this person that well. Subconsciously, we automatically start to have negative feelings about them. We call this judging. But why do we do it? Because we're human. It's just one of those qualities we're born with I guess. What we must do is fight it though. Give it our all to fight the negative feelings rushed into your mind at that first glance. Believe there is nothing horrible about that person and wait to get to know them before you make any assumptions.

I got to thinking though, why do we do this constantly without even trying? Perhaps it's because when we see someone differing from the norm, our brain feels the need to classify people into certain categories. I'm talking about when we label people as emos, goths, jocks, preps, etc. Think of how much of a difference it would make if we all could really take the effort to get to know every person we meet. Everyone's a stranger at some point right? Well that tiny ounce of effort to get to know someone will automatically shift your frame of mind. Think of it as a deck of cards. You judge someone and the cards have automatically been laid out for you and glued to the table. Get to know them, and those cards will magically reshuffle themselves and give you a whole new opinion about them. Try it sometime, it's crazy. I still haven't figured out this crazy habit we have, but I've definitely cleared my head. Of course we're not all perfect human beings, yet we gossip about each other all the time.

Honestly though, do you think you could say one nice thing about every single person you meet without a single thought? How about one bad thing? I bet the second one's easier. It's human nature to focus on the flaws and overlook the good. This judging that we do though, is it because of insecurity? to feel superior? just for the purpose of being 'cool'? I feel like i'm getting off topic right now, but the things I hear people say just amaze me. I don't understand it. We're all human right? Then what's the need to put other people down? Well bottom line is we will never be likable to everyone. While some love you for certain qualities, others will strongly detest you for those same ones. Maybe it's just a matter of taste. I don't know. But from now on, start off with a clean slate. Really push yourself to keep an open mind before forming certain opinions about them. Next time you talk about someone, I hope you remember this. You don't know them. Who knows what their going through? All you have is their image to rely on. Can you really base everything off of that? Rumors aren't always true. There's a reason why it's called a rumor. This constant judging will always be present around you but that doesn't mean you have to follow this crazy worldwide trend. It's just another one of those crazy unexplainable things in life I guess.

Stories

I should probably be going to bed right now but I can't help but to notice how big of an impact one single person can make on me. In fact, everyone I know, whether it was from the day I was born or if I just met them yesterday, they seem to change me. It's strange but true. I'm amazed at how much people have an effect on me. Some say they have everyone they'll ever need to survive a lifetime? well not me. I will never in my life be able to utter those words. I don't think that's possible because I'm constantly changing and I always will be. Every person I meet slightly transforms me into a different being disregarding whether it was for the better or the worse. I start out as a block of clay, meet many people and experience new things, and become molded into who I am today. Who knows though, by tomorrow I'll probably look a bit different after making a few encounters. I like hearing other's opinions and thoughts, looking at things from a different perspective, it widens my sense of knowledge. I strongly believe every person in the world has something to contribute. When two people meet, they exchange this information and alter whether they know it or not. Just like you and me, each person starts off with their own story. When these stories meet, they intertwine and open up a whole sky full of possibilities. This may be part of the reason I love going to new places. Meeting new people, hearing what they have to say, and changing my way of thought to look at things from a different standpoint. Some have something good to give, some have bad. Through life, I know I'll encounter both of these numerous times but I guess it's just my decision what to take in. As I've said earlier, I want to be someone who will change the world. I write this because I have things to say. I want to make a difference, essentially make a difference in someone out there and inspire them. I don't know when this day will come, but when it does I'll be waiting to embrace it. Well it's getting late so I guess I'll go to sleep, looking forward to tomorrow wondering who I will be lucky enough to meet.

Birthday Fun

For most of you, going out to dinner is just a relaxed way to spend time with your family, enjoy a nice outing, and eat a good meal. You know, the typical family dinner eating delicious food catching up on the events of the week.Well..that's definitely not the case for me. Actually it's the complete opposite.

Last weekend, or at least I think it was last weekend, I went out to dinner with my family after my dance show. When I say family, I mean about 40 of my aunts and uncles and 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th cousins all gathered around one rectangular table stretching for a good 20 feet. Maybe even longer. Who knows? For those of you who don't know me that well, I value my family greatly. I see them every weekend without a doubt. It always starts as a simple 'Hey, let's stop by for a bit" and turns into a full fledged party ending at about 2:30 in the morning. But remember, that's only if everyone feels like going home early. Which..basically has never happened before.

Anyways, getting back to dinner, we shuffle over to our table where I'm sitting at the head of the 'kid's end' of the table. We went to this traditional Mexican restaurant my family has been going to since I can remember. Don Pablos, ever heard of it? If you haven't, definitely go. Leaving the place you'll probably have at least 3 boxes of carryouts in your hands with a massive food baby, to say the least.


As the complimentary chips and salsa arrive, everyone digs in immediately cleaning the bowl in about 5 minutes. After asking for more appetizers about 5 more times, we finally start to order. As I look down the table. All my cousins are making weird faces at each other, remembering old memories, stealing each other's food, and even crying every once in a while because someone took a bite of their food. Yes, that actually happened before :P The adults talk to each other like one stands in Michigan with a megaphone and the other is standing on a far away island on the coast of Australia holding a cup to their ear. It's deafening but freaking hilarious. As the main meals are ordered and served, we discover that maybe, just MAYBE we may have accidentally ordered too much food. What's new? After the food vanishes and everyone has ate as much as they possibly can, everyone sits and talks for at least a good 40 minutes. Every 20 minutes, a guy at the restaurant makes an announcement, "HEY! Can I have everyone's attention?! It's his birthday today!!" As the staff breaks out in song singing Happy Birthday in Spanish, all the people sitting in the room turn around and watch as this man celebrates his birthday.

Well at the time, my birthday was only a week away so my aunt requests to do the same for me. I would normally love this, except the fact of having dessert stuffed down my throat at this point was just sickening. All I wanted to do was lay in the backseat of the van and stare at the sky as it turns into a hazy black on the hour long ride home. So as the staff comes over, they place a huge black sombrero on my head. When I say huge, I mean this thing probably weighs in at atleast 8-10 pounds. Once the song's over, the plate of soapapillas (a Mexican dessert) sit in front of me sopping in oil and powdered with sugar. While they look so good, I feel so sickly stuffed. But of course, as food is set down, everyone digs in. The flashes of cameras blind me as my aunts, uncles, and parents snap pictures of me in the ridiculous sombrero. You would think this is a one time thing, but surprisingly enough, we end up celebrating the same exact way every year. As I take off the sombrero and set it down, it starts getting passed around the table. Yes, everyone has to try it on and get their picture taken. Phones, cameras, and videos all out. It's the real deal. Yes, anyone else at the restaurant watching us must have thought we were completely ridiculous. Do we care? Ha, not at all.

In fact we start getting up and walking around with the sombrero on and start posing and making funny faces. It's quite a sight to see, I must say. After a good hour of sombrero filled fun, we finally insist on returning the Mexican hat back to the waiters. As the bill arrives, everyone argues over who will pay the bill. One of my uncles will offer, but then the card will be snatched out of his hand immediately as someone else's card is shoved into the waiter's face. You know who I feel bad for? The waiter. He stands there with his face turning a deep scarlet color as he nervously laughs trying to have us settle down. When he finally gets a chance to speak, we find out that one of my other uncles has already paid for everything when he said he was "going to the bathroom."

After paying, it's time to leave and go home right? Wrong. Instead we sit at the table for another half an hour and talk. Great way to digest the food I guess? It's getting late and as I look around it's like the restaurant turned into a ghost town, except for out table livelier than ever. More than a circus, more than a parade, more than Disney World. The staff looks so tired as they wait for us to finally leave. As the parents finally convince each other to leave insisting it's getting late and they have long days tomorrow, we sluggishly walk out of the restaurant into the parking lot. Only a mere 3 feet away from our cars, we stop again to talk some more. You'd think we'd all be pretty tired by now but nope. That's just what we do. Every weekend, I'll never get sick of it. You probably think this all sounds pretty obnoxious, but you know what? I wouldn't trade them for the world. I know you can't choose family, and I'm glad I didn't, for I was blessed with such an amazing one. Well I guess it was time to say goodbye to Don Pablo's until next year once it struck midnight. Oh wait, I think we're gonna "stop by for a bit" at my cousins for a while. Sorry, guess I lied. What a perfect day.


As for today, now it's my real birthday. It's a Monday so just a day after another crazy weekend. All the phonecalls and messages wishing me a happy birthday mean a lot to me so muchas gracias. As for now, I'm just looking forward to next weekend to do it all over again. Who wouldn't be, right?

Everyday Faces

You walk into your kindergarten classroom for the first time, frightened by the eyes peering at you from around the room. Days go by and these people turn into your classmates. Weeks go by and now their your friends. Before you know it, 10 years have suddenly rushed by in a blur before your eyes and you're in high school with those very same people. Some of those past friends have now become nothing more than hallway acquaintances. You've met people you like and people you don't, you've formed certain opinions, but most importantly you've found good friends to keep close and treasure.

Lately, I've been thinking about all the relationships I've made throughout my life. Even though I'm not through, high school has really changed me from freshman year to now. While I meet new people and make new friends, I've also lost the ones that I thought would be with me forever. It's like I can't stop thinking about it to the point where my head hurts and I feel like I've reached insanity. While I miss the past so much, I want to spring forward and restart at times. You know how people say "It's sad when the people who you know become people you knew?" I think that's happened to everyone, including myself, probably a lot more than they wished. You meet people you love, you meet people you hate. The ones in the middle you think nothing of. In a few years, I guarantee the people in these categories have probably flip flopped a few times. I guess this is all a part of the "best four years of your life" highschool experience though. And on a greater level, I guess even life.

The friends you see everyday, the people you talk to in class, the ones you pass in the hallways, it has all become a daily routine. These are the people we grow up with, the people who experience the same things we do. Everyone has the freedom to make their own choices, but in the end, these kids have been there with you from the start. Whether you realize it or not, those kids you met on the first day of Kindergarten, their the ones who will be with you on the ride for the next 12 years of your life as you discover who you are. On this ride you'll uncover your greatest ambitions, fears, dreams, and capabilities. Most likely, these people will hurt you, disrespect you, offend you, and lie to you. But they will also be the ones right by your side holding your hand along the way. In the end I know all these people I have met have definitely changed me. I don't know whether it's for the better or the worse, but I do know that it's slowly molding me into who I am. Taking more time to get to know a person takes effort, but in the end the results may be unbelievable. You never know when you'll meet someone who could really change your perspective. So really take the time and think about this. I dare you.

First Words

Talking. It's one of the very first things we learn to do. We do this everyday and think nothing of it. No matter what language or where you live, everyone communicates in their own way. So I was thinking about this last night, and I found it astonishing but true how when we were young and still learning how to talk, we could so easily blurt anything that came to mind. It didn't matter if the time was right or not, if it was inappropriate or not, we just shouted out the first thing that popped into our head. It was just so simple. Now as we grow we experience new things everyday, and talking seems to become harder. We take part in relationships, we feel things we never have before, we open our eyes to reality and finding words to say seems like such an obstacle. When we were young all we wanted to is talk all day. I know I'm young but I've realized that even after going through everything I have at this point, life will throw things your way that will leave you at a total loss for words. Speechless. It's just so unexplainable. As I grow, I find myself slowing down and learning to think twice before I say what's on my mind. Perhaps this is because we know the power of words.

They say " Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

Maybe when we were younger we really believed this. We had not experienced much. We had no idea words can enlighten one's perspective, hurt someone close to you, or even change someone's life forever. The truth is that as we follow through life, things change and we experience something new everyday. It's like all the emotions, experiences, and memories have tangled up into a big web in my mind. I think about what would happen before I say something, and I imagine how the other person will take it. I've definitely made many mistakes where I said something without thinking how much harm it can bring. But the people I have hurt have changed me for the better, they've taught me more than they'll ever know. Sometimes it's hard to find the right words to say, and at others you can't stop yourself if you wanted to. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm learning to be a lot more careful at what I say because the outcome will always be unpredictable.

Lastly, theres those moments that are so perfect their just too good for words. My mouth goes dry and I can't think of a single thing to say. It's like I'm falling in quicksand and I'm sinking past my waist with no one to help. But in the midst of everything, I'm completely happy. These moments are my favorite and part of what I live for. They don't happen very often, so when they do I make sure I remember it. I think these moments should be spent with the ones you truly care about. The ones you would do anything for.

Communication is such a simple thing, yet when mixed in with the reality of life, it easily turns into a complicated, unexplainable idea. This all happens as soon as we learn the truths about life and our innocence wears away. Maybe it's a good thing those speechless moments don't come by very often. It keeps us going, we find comfort and happiness in these moments. So after everything, I guess it's true after all. The power of words really can hurt someone entirely, or open up a whole new world for another.

Later, Later...Never

It's about 3 A.M. and you're sitting in front of your computer trying to type this horrible 8 page paper that you've been pushing off for weeks. You're only trying to write it right now because it's due in 5 hours. You're trying to focus as hard as you can, but in a few minutes you somehow find yourself browsing Facebook, checking your email, or even having an IM conversation. You may even offer to help around the house and insist on having a snack just to push back having to write your paper. We've all been there. When procrastination hits, it hits hard. I find myself in this position a lot more than I'd like actually. I don't know what it is, but I feel like procrastination has become a habit for me. Just yesterday in fact, my mom called me from work to tell me to put the clothes in the dryer and then bring them upstairs. At the moment, I readily said I would. Five minutes before she came home, about 6 hours after she had called, I rushed downstairs to throw the clothes in the dryer. By 11 that night, I remembered I hadn't taken the clothes out and brought them upstairs. I kept telling myself I would after I was done eating dinner, then after I was done watching T.V., then again after I was done checking my email. The clothes are still in the dryer currently. I don't know why I keep pushing things off, but I have to say it's almost become like a habit of mine. Sadly.

I don't know why we do this. Why don't we just get things done the first time we're told? I think it may have to do with fear. Aside from school, we all do this no matter what age. From typing an english paper to making a decision about marriage, we all procrastinate until the last minute. Maybe we're scared of rejection, or maybe we're afraid we'll fail if we make a mistake. What if you end up making a mistake so big that it hurts someone and can never be undone? Pushing off a certain task only gives us temporary sanity and security for the time being. Once the time arrives, we have to man up and deal with whatever happens, good or bad.

You know you've heard it. Our parents always yell at us for wasting time. Our teachers always warn us not to save things until the last minute. Even the famous Latin poet, Horace, has stated a phrase that has stuck with us throughout the years. Carpe Diem - Sieze the Day. We can't just ignore all these sayings and pretend like we've never heard them before. Their always around us, constantly reminding us of the duties we must fulfill. In the end though, trying to accomplish something will always prove to be better than pushing it off and never trying at all. It's okay to make a mistake, for that's the only way we'll learn right? You can't learn to ride a bike without falling off a couple dozen times. But if you never try to learn, then you will never know how. So you tell me, which one is better in the long run?

No more 'What if's?' or 'I'll do it later' because later will never come. Getting out of this routine will change us for the better. By learning we gain more knowledge, assisting us in growing as a person, as well as letting us catch those who are falling. It's a plus for everyone. Until we finally understand what those people have been telling us and take those words to heart, we will never know what awaits us on the other side of the bridge. So I bet you're supposed to be doing something other than reading this blog right now. So click the ex in the right hand corner, get up off your seat, and go tackle whatever it is you're pushing off at the moment.

On The Go

There's those moments where everything is perfect, when it seems like everything is right in the world. All your problems have mysteriously dissolved away and you seem to be on a defined high. You are the happiest you could ever be, and you want things to stay like this forever and ever. Then there's those times when you wish you could just die or run away because nothing is right in the world. You feel so overwhelmed by everything going on in your life you just want to 'quit'. While we wish the good times could last forever, they have to end some time. And for the bad times, even if they only last for a few days or hours, they seem like an eternity. You know what I'm talking about. I've always had the understanding that these times were temporary, but it's okay because the memories I replay in my mind will suffice. Life isn't really like that though. As I grow, I find that my memories that were once so vivid and clear have now become mere fuzzy blurs. I can easily say, "Yeah, that was so much fun!" But in reality, I can't remember every detail that happened that day. All I can recall is that I had a good time. I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is always on the move, on a constant shift, like the repetitive cycle of day and night. I can't just press pause anytime I'd like to and rewind back to my 8th birthday. As soon as the moment's over, it's gone forever, like a bubble popping in midair as if it was never even there. Certain things may occur again in a heightened way, but that first moment you experienced, you will never get a replay of that. Life just doesn't work that way. Although you may be saddened we can't hold onto these moments for forever, be thankful they don't, because that would mean you would be stuck having a bad day for the next 365 days of your life or even longer. No, the world won't end if you make a mistake, or take a risk that puts yourself in a train wreck. Life just moves on whether we want it to or not without anyones say. This is just one thing no one has any authority over no matter how powerful they may be. No one can control how you live your life except you. The only person that determines the direction, speed, and outcome of your life is you. It's not going to just stop one day because you want it to. This is why we must cherish the moments we experience with our all. Don't blow things off and expect a second chance, for that doesn't happen very often. You're only given one moment for each opportunity and experience so live in it.

Spring Break 09'

So it's spring break and I'm stuck at home for the last 7 days. Most people would complain about this but I'm actually pretty psyched. I mean I just came back from a weekend at The Falls and I had the time of my life to say the least. I mean every vacation has its highlights, but this one was definitely one to remember.

So me and my two cousins walk into the hotel lobby returning from a great lunch at Vinny's. My cousin holds the 2 boxes of leftover pizza in her hands as we enter. We were going to The Falls, so we wanted to run up and grab our jackets really fast. The three of us step into the elevator along with an elderly couple. My cousin pushes the number 22 for our floor. The light for floor 22 finally lights up, as we expect the doors to open so we can get out. Guess we expected wrong. We wait for about 5 minutes for the door to open. Me, being super claustrophobic and all, started to worry. Thoughts of the T.V. shows where people get stuck in elevators for hours until their rescued through the ceiling tile raced through my mind. In a matter of seconds, the doors finally opened on the 22nd floor. Thankgod. At least we had pizza!

To top it all off, on the way home my family decided to stop at this amazing restaurant. This restaurant had the most variety of foods you will ever see. It had to have at least over 75 items in the buffet ranging from pasta to pizza to stir fry to french fries to tarts to pastries to icecream. Well I think you get the point. Anyways, it opened at 3:00 and we happened to reach there around 2:30. We couldn't really go anywhere to kill time either, because we were in a town quite unfamiliar to us. So we waited in the parking lot for a while until we could go inside. As we waited, my cousins and I started to look at ourselves in the reflection of a gold SUV with black tinted windows. Just like most girls, we started to do our hair in the reflection. As we continued to do this, I started making funny faces in the reflection just for the hell of it.

A few seconds later, my cousin screams " Oh my god!! There's people in the car!!"

We immediately run away from the car totally embarrassed. As we're now at least a few feet away, I glance back over to the gold car, and yes indeed, I see movements of shadows from inside the car. They must have thought we were total freaks.

Well it's only been about 4 days since break started and it's already been a crazy weekend. Maybe staying in town won't be so bad after all. I mean with my luck, who knows what break has in store for me this week?

Perfection

Most of us spend basically our whole life trying to be perfect. Even if people tell us it isn't possible, we still continue to strive for this mere state of being. Personally, I'm in love with imperfection. I've learned to accept that nothing will ever be perfect no matter how hard we try. The imperfections in this world is how things are created. Think about it. Art is not created without imbalance. Discoveries are not found without mistakes. Love is not experienced without pain. Perfection simply cannot be reached, which is why we should learn to embrace the imperfections. As we get to know a person, we slowly notice certain behaviors and characteristics about them in precise detail. While we easily overlook the good, we tend to focus on the negatives. Why? Because it's a chance for us to put down others and bring ourselves up to a higher potential so to speak. Honestly though, I love the idea of how God created every human with a few flaws. In fact, it gives me reassurance that the world is still going, that there is still hope in the world with opportunities standing arms wide open just waiting to be fixed. When we accept our own flaws, as well as others, we have come to a state of endearment and compromise with ourselves and the rest of the world. By knowing I have imperfections and readily accepting them, I know I can be who I want without trying to change myself. I've come to the understanding that I can't just go through life trying to alter myself to be more like my idea of 'perfect'. All I have to do is live for who I am, flaws and all, and that will surely be enough.

As for this moment..

At this point in time, you have no idea who I am, what I'm like, or what my intentions are. But you find yourself reading this perhaps because you're interested, or even because you just happened to come across it and had nothing better to do. Either way, I write because I've found putting my thoughts out there to share with the world relieves the entangled mess of thoughts and feelings inside my head. I want to make a difference in my lifetime whether it be now or 30 years from now. Every relationship I make, I tend to cherish it till the end. When I say I love You, I mean it. The people in my life simply mean more to me than they will ever know. I'm probably different from most people. I love who I am and I wouldn't change that for the world. Like everyone, of course I wish I could be someone else at times, but at the end of the day I find myself happy with who I am. Writing this probably won't tell you everything there is to know about me; in fact, even knowing me my whole life won't even do that. By reading this, you may have already formed a certain opinion about me, but that's your choice. Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but I've decided I'm not going to let stupid judgements hold me back from living my life. My goal in life is to find happiness. I used to strive for this certain goal, but now I'm just going to let it come to me. With the start of this great year, I am determined to start living my life and attain my goals by being no one but myself.