Birthday Fun

For most of you, going out to dinner is just a relaxed way to spend time with your family, enjoy a nice outing, and eat a good meal. You know, the typical family dinner eating delicious food catching up on the events of the week.Well..that's definitely not the case for me. Actually it's the complete opposite.

Last weekend, or at least I think it was last weekend, I went out to dinner with my family after my dance show. When I say family, I mean about 40 of my aunts and uncles and 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th cousins all gathered around one rectangular table stretching for a good 20 feet. Maybe even longer. Who knows? For those of you who don't know me that well, I value my family greatly. I see them every weekend without a doubt. It always starts as a simple 'Hey, let's stop by for a bit" and turns into a full fledged party ending at about 2:30 in the morning. But remember, that's only if everyone feels like going home early. Which..basically has never happened before.

Anyways, getting back to dinner, we shuffle over to our table where I'm sitting at the head of the 'kid's end' of the table. We went to this traditional Mexican restaurant my family has been going to since I can remember. Don Pablos, ever heard of it? If you haven't, definitely go. Leaving the place you'll probably have at least 3 boxes of carryouts in your hands with a massive food baby, to say the least.


As the complimentary chips and salsa arrive, everyone digs in immediately cleaning the bowl in about 5 minutes. After asking for more appetizers about 5 more times, we finally start to order. As I look down the table. All my cousins are making weird faces at each other, remembering old memories, stealing each other's food, and even crying every once in a while because someone took a bite of their food. Yes, that actually happened before :P The adults talk to each other like one stands in Michigan with a megaphone and the other is standing on a far away island on the coast of Australia holding a cup to their ear. It's deafening but freaking hilarious. As the main meals are ordered and served, we discover that maybe, just MAYBE we may have accidentally ordered too much food. What's new? After the food vanishes and everyone has ate as much as they possibly can, everyone sits and talks for at least a good 40 minutes. Every 20 minutes, a guy at the restaurant makes an announcement, "HEY! Can I have everyone's attention?! It's his birthday today!!" As the staff breaks out in song singing Happy Birthday in Spanish, all the people sitting in the room turn around and watch as this man celebrates his birthday.

Well at the time, my birthday was only a week away so my aunt requests to do the same for me. I would normally love this, except the fact of having dessert stuffed down my throat at this point was just sickening. All I wanted to do was lay in the backseat of the van and stare at the sky as it turns into a hazy black on the hour long ride home. So as the staff comes over, they place a huge black sombrero on my head. When I say huge, I mean this thing probably weighs in at atleast 8-10 pounds. Once the song's over, the plate of soapapillas (a Mexican dessert) sit in front of me sopping in oil and powdered with sugar. While they look so good, I feel so sickly stuffed. But of course, as food is set down, everyone digs in. The flashes of cameras blind me as my aunts, uncles, and parents snap pictures of me in the ridiculous sombrero. You would think this is a one time thing, but surprisingly enough, we end up celebrating the same exact way every year. As I take off the sombrero and set it down, it starts getting passed around the table. Yes, everyone has to try it on and get their picture taken. Phones, cameras, and videos all out. It's the real deal. Yes, anyone else at the restaurant watching us must have thought we were completely ridiculous. Do we care? Ha, not at all.

In fact we start getting up and walking around with the sombrero on and start posing and making funny faces. It's quite a sight to see, I must say. After a good hour of sombrero filled fun, we finally insist on returning the Mexican hat back to the waiters. As the bill arrives, everyone argues over who will pay the bill. One of my uncles will offer, but then the card will be snatched out of his hand immediately as someone else's card is shoved into the waiter's face. You know who I feel bad for? The waiter. He stands there with his face turning a deep scarlet color as he nervously laughs trying to have us settle down. When he finally gets a chance to speak, we find out that one of my other uncles has already paid for everything when he said he was "going to the bathroom."

After paying, it's time to leave and go home right? Wrong. Instead we sit at the table for another half an hour and talk. Great way to digest the food I guess? It's getting late and as I look around it's like the restaurant turned into a ghost town, except for out table livelier than ever. More than a circus, more than a parade, more than Disney World. The staff looks so tired as they wait for us to finally leave. As the parents finally convince each other to leave insisting it's getting late and they have long days tomorrow, we sluggishly walk out of the restaurant into the parking lot. Only a mere 3 feet away from our cars, we stop again to talk some more. You'd think we'd all be pretty tired by now but nope. That's just what we do. Every weekend, I'll never get sick of it. You probably think this all sounds pretty obnoxious, but you know what? I wouldn't trade them for the world. I know you can't choose family, and I'm glad I didn't, for I was blessed with such an amazing one. Well I guess it was time to say goodbye to Don Pablo's until next year once it struck midnight. Oh wait, I think we're gonna "stop by for a bit" at my cousins for a while. Sorry, guess I lied. What a perfect day.


As for today, now it's my real birthday. It's a Monday so just a day after another crazy weekend. All the phonecalls and messages wishing me a happy birthday mean a lot to me so muchas gracias. As for now, I'm just looking forward to next weekend to do it all over again. Who wouldn't be, right?

Everyday Faces

You walk into your kindergarten classroom for the first time, frightened by the eyes peering at you from around the room. Days go by and these people turn into your classmates. Weeks go by and now their your friends. Before you know it, 10 years have suddenly rushed by in a blur before your eyes and you're in high school with those very same people. Some of those past friends have now become nothing more than hallway acquaintances. You've met people you like and people you don't, you've formed certain opinions, but most importantly you've found good friends to keep close and treasure.

Lately, I've been thinking about all the relationships I've made throughout my life. Even though I'm not through, high school has really changed me from freshman year to now. While I meet new people and make new friends, I've also lost the ones that I thought would be with me forever. It's like I can't stop thinking about it to the point where my head hurts and I feel like I've reached insanity. While I miss the past so much, I want to spring forward and restart at times. You know how people say "It's sad when the people who you know become people you knew?" I think that's happened to everyone, including myself, probably a lot more than they wished. You meet people you love, you meet people you hate. The ones in the middle you think nothing of. In a few years, I guarantee the people in these categories have probably flip flopped a few times. I guess this is all a part of the "best four years of your life" highschool experience though. And on a greater level, I guess even life.

The friends you see everyday, the people you talk to in class, the ones you pass in the hallways, it has all become a daily routine. These are the people we grow up with, the people who experience the same things we do. Everyone has the freedom to make their own choices, but in the end, these kids have been there with you from the start. Whether you realize it or not, those kids you met on the first day of Kindergarten, their the ones who will be with you on the ride for the next 12 years of your life as you discover who you are. On this ride you'll uncover your greatest ambitions, fears, dreams, and capabilities. Most likely, these people will hurt you, disrespect you, offend you, and lie to you. But they will also be the ones right by your side holding your hand along the way. In the end I know all these people I have met have definitely changed me. I don't know whether it's for the better or the worse, but I do know that it's slowly molding me into who I am. Taking more time to get to know a person takes effort, but in the end the results may be unbelievable. You never know when you'll meet someone who could really change your perspective. So really take the time and think about this. I dare you.

First Words

Talking. It's one of the very first things we learn to do. We do this everyday and think nothing of it. No matter what language or where you live, everyone communicates in their own way. So I was thinking about this last night, and I found it astonishing but true how when we were young and still learning how to talk, we could so easily blurt anything that came to mind. It didn't matter if the time was right or not, if it was inappropriate or not, we just shouted out the first thing that popped into our head. It was just so simple. Now as we grow we experience new things everyday, and talking seems to become harder. We take part in relationships, we feel things we never have before, we open our eyes to reality and finding words to say seems like such an obstacle. When we were young all we wanted to is talk all day. I know I'm young but I've realized that even after going through everything I have at this point, life will throw things your way that will leave you at a total loss for words. Speechless. It's just so unexplainable. As I grow, I find myself slowing down and learning to think twice before I say what's on my mind. Perhaps this is because we know the power of words.

They say " Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

Maybe when we were younger we really believed this. We had not experienced much. We had no idea words can enlighten one's perspective, hurt someone close to you, or even change someone's life forever. The truth is that as we follow through life, things change and we experience something new everyday. It's like all the emotions, experiences, and memories have tangled up into a big web in my mind. I think about what would happen before I say something, and I imagine how the other person will take it. I've definitely made many mistakes where I said something without thinking how much harm it can bring. But the people I have hurt have changed me for the better, they've taught me more than they'll ever know. Sometimes it's hard to find the right words to say, and at others you can't stop yourself if you wanted to. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm learning to be a lot more careful at what I say because the outcome will always be unpredictable.

Lastly, theres those moments that are so perfect their just too good for words. My mouth goes dry and I can't think of a single thing to say. It's like I'm falling in quicksand and I'm sinking past my waist with no one to help. But in the midst of everything, I'm completely happy. These moments are my favorite and part of what I live for. They don't happen very often, so when they do I make sure I remember it. I think these moments should be spent with the ones you truly care about. The ones you would do anything for.

Communication is such a simple thing, yet when mixed in with the reality of life, it easily turns into a complicated, unexplainable idea. This all happens as soon as we learn the truths about life and our innocence wears away. Maybe it's a good thing those speechless moments don't come by very often. It keeps us going, we find comfort and happiness in these moments. So after everything, I guess it's true after all. The power of words really can hurt someone entirely, or open up a whole new world for another.

Later, Later...Never

It's about 3 A.M. and you're sitting in front of your computer trying to type this horrible 8 page paper that you've been pushing off for weeks. You're only trying to write it right now because it's due in 5 hours. You're trying to focus as hard as you can, but in a few minutes you somehow find yourself browsing Facebook, checking your email, or even having an IM conversation. You may even offer to help around the house and insist on having a snack just to push back having to write your paper. We've all been there. When procrastination hits, it hits hard. I find myself in this position a lot more than I'd like actually. I don't know what it is, but I feel like procrastination has become a habit for me. Just yesterday in fact, my mom called me from work to tell me to put the clothes in the dryer and then bring them upstairs. At the moment, I readily said I would. Five minutes before she came home, about 6 hours after she had called, I rushed downstairs to throw the clothes in the dryer. By 11 that night, I remembered I hadn't taken the clothes out and brought them upstairs. I kept telling myself I would after I was done eating dinner, then after I was done watching T.V., then again after I was done checking my email. The clothes are still in the dryer currently. I don't know why I keep pushing things off, but I have to say it's almost become like a habit of mine. Sadly.

I don't know why we do this. Why don't we just get things done the first time we're told? I think it may have to do with fear. Aside from school, we all do this no matter what age. From typing an english paper to making a decision about marriage, we all procrastinate until the last minute. Maybe we're scared of rejection, or maybe we're afraid we'll fail if we make a mistake. What if you end up making a mistake so big that it hurts someone and can never be undone? Pushing off a certain task only gives us temporary sanity and security for the time being. Once the time arrives, we have to man up and deal with whatever happens, good or bad.

You know you've heard it. Our parents always yell at us for wasting time. Our teachers always warn us not to save things until the last minute. Even the famous Latin poet, Horace, has stated a phrase that has stuck with us throughout the years. Carpe Diem - Sieze the Day. We can't just ignore all these sayings and pretend like we've never heard them before. Their always around us, constantly reminding us of the duties we must fulfill. In the end though, trying to accomplish something will always prove to be better than pushing it off and never trying at all. It's okay to make a mistake, for that's the only way we'll learn right? You can't learn to ride a bike without falling off a couple dozen times. But if you never try to learn, then you will never know how. So you tell me, which one is better in the long run?

No more 'What if's?' or 'I'll do it later' because later will never come. Getting out of this routine will change us for the better. By learning we gain more knowledge, assisting us in growing as a person, as well as letting us catch those who are falling. It's a plus for everyone. Until we finally understand what those people have been telling us and take those words to heart, we will never know what awaits us on the other side of the bridge. So I bet you're supposed to be doing something other than reading this blog right now. So click the ex in the right hand corner, get up off your seat, and go tackle whatever it is you're pushing off at the moment.

On The Go

There's those moments where everything is perfect, when it seems like everything is right in the world. All your problems have mysteriously dissolved away and you seem to be on a defined high. You are the happiest you could ever be, and you want things to stay like this forever and ever. Then there's those times when you wish you could just die or run away because nothing is right in the world. You feel so overwhelmed by everything going on in your life you just want to 'quit'. While we wish the good times could last forever, they have to end some time. And for the bad times, even if they only last for a few days or hours, they seem like an eternity. You know what I'm talking about. I've always had the understanding that these times were temporary, but it's okay because the memories I replay in my mind will suffice. Life isn't really like that though. As I grow, I find that my memories that were once so vivid and clear have now become mere fuzzy blurs. I can easily say, "Yeah, that was so much fun!" But in reality, I can't remember every detail that happened that day. All I can recall is that I had a good time. I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is always on the move, on a constant shift, like the repetitive cycle of day and night. I can't just press pause anytime I'd like to and rewind back to my 8th birthday. As soon as the moment's over, it's gone forever, like a bubble popping in midair as if it was never even there. Certain things may occur again in a heightened way, but that first moment you experienced, you will never get a replay of that. Life just doesn't work that way. Although you may be saddened we can't hold onto these moments for forever, be thankful they don't, because that would mean you would be stuck having a bad day for the next 365 days of your life or even longer. No, the world won't end if you make a mistake, or take a risk that puts yourself in a train wreck. Life just moves on whether we want it to or not without anyones say. This is just one thing no one has any authority over no matter how powerful they may be. No one can control how you live your life except you. The only person that determines the direction, speed, and outcome of your life is you. It's not going to just stop one day because you want it to. This is why we must cherish the moments we experience with our all. Don't blow things off and expect a second chance, for that doesn't happen very often. You're only given one moment for each opportunity and experience so live in it.

Spring Break 09'

So it's spring break and I'm stuck at home for the last 7 days. Most people would complain about this but I'm actually pretty psyched. I mean I just came back from a weekend at The Falls and I had the time of my life to say the least. I mean every vacation has its highlights, but this one was definitely one to remember.

So me and my two cousins walk into the hotel lobby returning from a great lunch at Vinny's. My cousin holds the 2 boxes of leftover pizza in her hands as we enter. We were going to The Falls, so we wanted to run up and grab our jackets really fast. The three of us step into the elevator along with an elderly couple. My cousin pushes the number 22 for our floor. The light for floor 22 finally lights up, as we expect the doors to open so we can get out. Guess we expected wrong. We wait for about 5 minutes for the door to open. Me, being super claustrophobic and all, started to worry. Thoughts of the T.V. shows where people get stuck in elevators for hours until their rescued through the ceiling tile raced through my mind. In a matter of seconds, the doors finally opened on the 22nd floor. Thankgod. At least we had pizza!

To top it all off, on the way home my family decided to stop at this amazing restaurant. This restaurant had the most variety of foods you will ever see. It had to have at least over 75 items in the buffet ranging from pasta to pizza to stir fry to french fries to tarts to pastries to icecream. Well I think you get the point. Anyways, it opened at 3:00 and we happened to reach there around 2:30. We couldn't really go anywhere to kill time either, because we were in a town quite unfamiliar to us. So we waited in the parking lot for a while until we could go inside. As we waited, my cousins and I started to look at ourselves in the reflection of a gold SUV with black tinted windows. Just like most girls, we started to do our hair in the reflection. As we continued to do this, I started making funny faces in the reflection just for the hell of it.

A few seconds later, my cousin screams " Oh my god!! There's people in the car!!"

We immediately run away from the car totally embarrassed. As we're now at least a few feet away, I glance back over to the gold car, and yes indeed, I see movements of shadows from inside the car. They must have thought we were total freaks.

Well it's only been about 4 days since break started and it's already been a crazy weekend. Maybe staying in town won't be so bad after all. I mean with my luck, who knows what break has in store for me this week?

Perfection

Most of us spend basically our whole life trying to be perfect. Even if people tell us it isn't possible, we still continue to strive for this mere state of being. Personally, I'm in love with imperfection. I've learned to accept that nothing will ever be perfect no matter how hard we try. The imperfections in this world is how things are created. Think about it. Art is not created without imbalance. Discoveries are not found without mistakes. Love is not experienced without pain. Perfection simply cannot be reached, which is why we should learn to embrace the imperfections. As we get to know a person, we slowly notice certain behaviors and characteristics about them in precise detail. While we easily overlook the good, we tend to focus on the negatives. Why? Because it's a chance for us to put down others and bring ourselves up to a higher potential so to speak. Honestly though, I love the idea of how God created every human with a few flaws. In fact, it gives me reassurance that the world is still going, that there is still hope in the world with opportunities standing arms wide open just waiting to be fixed. When we accept our own flaws, as well as others, we have come to a state of endearment and compromise with ourselves and the rest of the world. By knowing I have imperfections and readily accepting them, I know I can be who I want without trying to change myself. I've come to the understanding that I can't just go through life trying to alter myself to be more like my idea of 'perfect'. All I have to do is live for who I am, flaws and all, and that will surely be enough.

As for this moment..

At this point in time, you have no idea who I am, what I'm like, or what my intentions are. But you find yourself reading this perhaps because you're interested, or even because you just happened to come across it and had nothing better to do. Either way, I write because I've found putting my thoughts out there to share with the world relieves the entangled mess of thoughts and feelings inside my head. I want to make a difference in my lifetime whether it be now or 30 years from now. Every relationship I make, I tend to cherish it till the end. When I say I love You, I mean it. The people in my life simply mean more to me than they will ever know. I'm probably different from most people. I love who I am and I wouldn't change that for the world. Like everyone, of course I wish I could be someone else at times, but at the end of the day I find myself happy with who I am. Writing this probably won't tell you everything there is to know about me; in fact, even knowing me my whole life won't even do that. By reading this, you may have already formed a certain opinion about me, but that's your choice. Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but I've decided I'm not going to let stupid judgements hold me back from living my life. My goal in life is to find happiness. I used to strive for this certain goal, but now I'm just going to let it come to me. With the start of this great year, I am determined to start living my life and attain my goals by being no one but myself.