That Special Someone

"Sometimes it's easier to feel like you're the only one in the world who's struggling, who's frustrated, unsatisfied or barely getting by but that feelings a lie and if you just hold on. Just find the courage to face it all another day, someone or something will find you and make it all ok because we all need a little help sometimes. Someone to help us hear their music in the world. To remind us it won't always be this way. That someone is out there and that someone will find you."


To my mom, that is my dad. To my dad, that is my mom.

With age comes battles to conquer, victories to celebrate, and hurdles to be crossed with a companion by your side. My parents may be quite different than yours, but I know they're just right for each other and that's all that matters. They don't hold hands when they walk or go out on coffee dates. My mom yells at least 8 times before my dad finally comes to the dinner table every night. My dad will spend countless hours on the internet online shopping for furniture we don't really need. In fact, they even get into arguments sometimes. But at the end of the day I see them climb up the stairs together to go to their room and watch their tv shows together in bed. A routine so simple gives me comfort as I fall asleep in my room next door. No matter how much pressure and out of control our lives may unravel into, seeing them happy gives me strength. 


It makes me think about happiness and love. That someone. They're each other's someones. We always think we're going to finally be happy when we get that promotion or when we get that car we've wanted. But happiness isn't a destination. It's not a place we need to reach to obtain that feeing.  It's a condition. It's like when we're sleepy or hungry. It can come and go and we control it. I think that they recognize this and that's why they find it within each other.


My dad. You meet him a couple times and he's charming and silly. He can easily turn into a kid with me and my brother. While we enjoy messing around with him, we also hold him to a high level of respect. We don't just grow up knowing you will always defend us and that there is always a solution we are capable of from anyone you know. You spend a few days with him and you'll see that he tries to outdo himself past his physical limits because he believes he's strong and determined. You are dad, and I'm not the only one that sees it. You spend a lifetime with him and you learn that he's stubborn but has the biggest heart. He may come off stern and hot tempered at times, but only because he's so protective of the ones he loves. He's one of the hardest workers I know and I'll be sure to consider my successful if even half of that drive is within me at your age. 


My mom. She's one of a kind. Stay at our house for a week and you'll see. I take that back. Spend 24 hours here and she'll make you feel like our house is your second home. Her day starts around 6 AM to pack lunches, unload the dishwasher, do a load of laundry, shower, talk on the phone, go to work, come home, clean the house, sit and do homework with my brother, talk to my dad, Facetime with her brother in India and still has time to come into my room after a long day and check in on me before she goes to bed. She's truly a super woman. She's the most selfless person I know. I know me and my brother don't always listen to her whether she's telling us to do chores or to be safe and text her as I'm leaving the house, but I know it's engraved in our brains somewhere. Her devotion to God is truly uplifting and that is why her heart is always open. Her dedication to her family is overwhelming. She's the one I come to about anything and she always tells me to take the high road and do what is truest to myself. If I can have some of her powers one day, that will really be a dream come true.


These guardians I've been blessed with have enough strength together than I may ever need. Even if they don't agree about things at times they put up a front together for the sake of me and my brother. They're each other's someones and I know they can get through anything and everything. They help each other hear the music in the world when it feels like all the lights are out and it's silent as a pin drop. Their love reminds me that when I'm frustrated it won't always be that way, that I can face everything for one more day to keep going. While I wasn't there the day it happened, I couldn't be happier that they found each other. 

I write this post with tears in the corners of my eyes.

Tonight was a Monday night meeting just like any other, but little did I know we were about to do an activity that was about to touch me. Our sisterhood coordinator began to instruct us as we followed. We put our name on a blank sheet of paper and left it on our desk. Then each sister was to go around the room to every other blank sheet and write a message to that sister.

I lay in bed right now as I just finished reading my paper. The things I just read make me appreciate my sisters to a whole different level. Some make me laugh and some make me cry, but most of all I'm so touched. I'm so proud to be a part of such a strong sisterhood that can shine through anything.

My sisterhood is not something that can be seen or heard. It is what I feel everyday. I'm talking about the 50 women I am closest to. The ones I am related to by love, not blood. The ones who remind me who I am everyday and encourage my dreams. The ones who teach me to treat myself with respect, as well as everyone around me.

Reading my page tonight, I'm overwhelmed with a sense of belonging and love. I admire each and every one of them in their own way. While I've only been in for a year, I've seen them dream, hope, and inspire.

I have a sister who will go a mile out of her way just to see you for five minutes to give a hug. I have a sister who is the president of 12 different organizations, but still makes time to call to say hello. I have a sister who may be having the worst day, yet walks around with a beautiful smile on her face. I have a sister who ultimately brings out the best in anyone she meets. I have a sister who will bring you back to earth when your head is in the clouds. I have a sister who will lay in bed and cry with you.

If I'm not lucky, then I don't know who is. These girls put me before themselves and they truly want me to succeed. They know everything about me and will still hold my hand. They have the power to ruin me but would never dream of it.

These are the women who give me the confidence to face my fears, the push to achieve my goals, and the ones celebrating with me in the end. This is my sisterhood. This is an eternal love that will last. This is a feeling I can't find anywhere but here. This is in delta phi epsilon. I love you <3

If life is a game...

If life is a game measured by who has the most control, then I would say I've been out for a pretty long time. But most of all, it's important to learn to let go of the disappointments that bloomed from things beyond your reach. It was the past. And when you're completely lost in the dark, you have to remember that things change and it's only in the dark that you can see light. The light that leads you back to seeing the good side of things, a gentle reminder to tread through the dark and keep going no matter how much fear you may have. Don't be afraid to fall. The greatest feeling of happiness doesn't come from a million dollar shopping spree or a new car. You only feel that when you conquer the things that scare you the most. Step up and take a shot. Maybe you'll end up with everything you've ever wanted. Maybe even more than you ever dreamed of. Who knows. But to me, it's okay to be out of the game. Out only means onto another road, a path that takes me to a place i have never heard of, yet the only place I want to be.

Speeding Cars

Have you ever looked out the window in a moving vehicle and tried to track the things that pass by with your eyes? The ones far away take longer to pass by, while the ones that are closer seem to fade away instantly. Well that's how life is. Each event is a series of images passing us by like the cars on the highway. We track these moments and distinctly remember them for that split second, but only to see a brand new one. And then theres the times when the vehicle stops and all the images stop fleeting by. These are the moments we stand in awe completely mesmerized from head to toe. And that is when you know that this is not just a speeding car. It's something that you will take every aspect to heart and live on with forever.

The only way to appreciate your place is to go to the bottom.

I find myself disappointed when things don't work out the way I would have liked. But it's not really about how it worked out. I think it's more about how I had the chance and decided to take it. They always say it's better to have loved than never loved at all , right? Well the same concept applies. Doing something is better than doing nothing at all. And if it doesn't work out, well that's why everything happens for a reason. No matter how it ends up, there is a reason it was like that. We only have two way to go for every choice we make. Either we 1) Succeed. or 2) Learn from the past. So I guess nothing can really be good or bad, it just depends how you see it.

Things always seem to change just when the fun begins.


But then again, some things will always stay the same:)